'You don’t want to get changed right now, because you were jilted on your wedding day many years ago. I completely understand. You’re frustrated. I would be too. I know it’s much more fun to sit in with a decaying wedding feast while using your adopted daughter to exact revenge on all men, but we have to get changed, because you’re on fire. Let’s set a timer.'

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/gentle-parenting-in-classic-literature